Quotemountain.com Famous Quotes It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.
-- Sir Edmund Hillary

Funny Quotes

It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son.

Funny Quotes

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.

Funny Quotes

I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.

Children Quotes ,  Funny Quotes ,  Philosophy Quotes

When smashing momuments, save the pedestals -- they always come in handy.

Funny Quotes ,  Society Quotes ,  Teaching Quotes

Less judgment than wit is more sail than ballast.

Funny Quotes ,  Judgment Quotes ,  Philosophy Quotes

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

Funny Quotes

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

Funny Quotes

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

Funny Quotes

It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.

Funny Quotes

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

Funny Quotes

When I was a kid, we had a quicksand box in the backyard. I was an only child...eventually.

Funny Quotes

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Funny Quotes ,  Great Quotes

The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.

Funny Quotes ,  Loneliness Quotes

Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.

Funny Quotes ,  Judgment Quotes ,  Justice Quotes ,  Laws Quotes ,  Society Quotes

There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas.

Emotion Quotes ,  Funny Quotes ,  Self Quotes

Books are funny little portable pieces of thought.

Funny Quotes

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Funny Quotes

Existence is a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

Funny Quotes

The boy was as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker.

Action Quotes ,  Funny Quotes ,  Miscellaneous Quotes

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

Funny Quotes ,  Miscellaneous Quotes

I wonder if the polite thing to do is always the right thing to do. When I met the family from Japan, they all bowed. I pretended like I was going to bow, but then I just kept going and flipped over on my back. I did this five times. I think they got the point.

Funny Quotes

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

Funny Quotes ,  Sports Quotes

The short people in my life are the cause of my poor posture.

Ego Quotes ,  Funny Quotes ,  Miscellaneous Quotes

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Funny Quotes

I want to start by saying something nice about President Bush. Of all the presidents we've had with the last name of Bush, his economic plan ranks in the top two.

Government Quotes ,  Funny Quotes ,  Political Quotes

The Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage--Management.

Funny Quotes ,  Management Quotes ,  Work Quotes

I wish men had boobs because I like the feel of them. It's so funny - when I record I sing with a hand over each of them, maybe it's a comfort thing.- Baby Spice of the Spice Girls

Funny Quotes

That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.

Funny Quotes

Don't get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny

Funny Quotes

The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it.

Funny Quotes