I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
George Burns
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
George Burns
Funny Quotes
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Great Quotes
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now -- I'm booked.
George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed
George Burns
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns
Funny Quotes
It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.