Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
To stop smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know; I've done it a thousand times.
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Some of his words were not Sunday-school words.
There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.
There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.
If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes.
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up
Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh.
Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the force that made it.
I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- except he purposely shut the eyes of his mind and keep them shut by force.
More than once I had seen a noble who had gotten his enemy at a disadvantage stop to pray before cutting his throat.