I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
David Letterman
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
David Letterman
Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck. And don't call me Regis. [Advice to his guests]
David Letterman
For the love of God, folks, don't do this at home.
David Letterman
Funny Quotes
Fine art and pizza delivery, what we do falls neatly in between!
David Letterman
It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.