You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob Hope
I don't generally feel anything until noon, then it's time for my nap.
Bob Hope
I love to go to Washington -- if only to be near my money.
Bob Hope
Love Quotes
You know you're getting older when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob Hope
Funny Quotes
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
Bob Hope
When asked why he doesn't retire and go fishing, Bob Hope has a stock answer: 'Fish don't applaud.'
Bob Hope
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Bob Hope
I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
Bob Hope
I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
Bob Hope
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
Bob Hope
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.
Bob Hope
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
Bob Hope
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
Bob Hope
It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.