Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
Sin is a dangerous toy in the hands of the virtuous. It should be left to the congenitally sinful, who know when to play with it and when to let it alone.
The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.
Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly.
Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love.
The public demands certainties; it must be told definitely and a bit raucously that this is true and that is false. But there are no certainties.
And what is a good citizen? Simply one who never says, does or thinks anything that is unusual. Schools are maintained in order to bring this uniformity up to the highest possible point. A school is a hopper into which children are heaved while they are still young and tender; there in they are pressed into certain standard shapes and covered from head to heels with official rubber stamps.
Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what They want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.
Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.
The chief knowledge that a man gets from reading books is the knowledge that very few of them are worth reading.
The curse of man, and the cause of nearly all his woe, is his stupendous capacity for believing the incredible.