These funny tombstone sayings were contributed by our members and some are really funny sayings. As for how real they are; who knows but there are some very witty attempts anyway. Looking at them, they would be very neat to enscribe on pieces of wood (as tombstones) to put in your yard as decoration for Halloween!
Sir John Strange; Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange.
I was somebody. Who, is no business Of yours.
As the flowers are all made sweeter by the sunshine and the dew, So this old world is made brighter by the lives Of folks like you.
Here lies Lester Moore; Four slugs from a .44; No Les No More.
John Brown is filling his last cavity.
I told you that I was sick!
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake; Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me.
To follow you I'll not consent, Until I know which way you went.
The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.
Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod; Pease shelled out and went to God.
Gone away, Owin' more than he could pay.
Alien tears will fill for him; Pity's long-broken ern. For his mourners will be outcast men, And outcasts always mourn.