I was born in 1962. True. And the room next to me was 1963.
Joan Rivers
Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
Joan Rivers
My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
Joan Rivers
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes -- and six months later you have to start all over again.
Joan Rivers
It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.