Human Dignity has gleamed only now and then and here and there, in lonely splendor, throughout the ages, a hope of the better men, never an achievement of the majority.
The laughter of man is more terrible than his tears, and takes more forms -- hollow, heartless, mirthless, maniacal.
Get it right or let it alone. The conclusion you jump to may be your own.
You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.
Some American writers who have known each other for years have never met in the daytime or when both were sober.
Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion and unhappiness.
Sophistication might be described as the ability to cope gracefully with a situation involving the presence of a formidable menace to one's poise and prestige (such as the butler, or the man under the bed -- but never the husband).
Next to reasoning, the greatest handicap to the optimum development of Man lies in the fact that this planet is just barely habitable. Its minimum temperatures are too low, and its maximum temperatures too high. Its day is not long enough, and its night is too long. The disposition of its water and earth is distinctly unfortunate (the existence of the Mediterranean Sea in the place where we find it is perhaps the unhappiest accident in the whole firmament). These factors encourage depression, fear, war, and lack of vitality. They describe a planet, which is by no means perfectly devised for the nurturing or for the perpetuation of a higher intelligence.
Love is the strange bewilderment that overtakes one person on account of another person.
A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption.
My drawings have been described as pre-internationalist, meaning that they were finished before the ideas for them had occurred to me. I shall not argue the point.
A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense.
If a playwright tried to see eye to eye with everybody, he would get the worst case of strabismus since Hannibal lost an eye trying to count his nineteen elephants during a snowstorm while crossing the Alps.
Love is what you've been through with somebody.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.