Dodgeball Quotes

As a stab at the sport of dodgeball comes our Dodgeball Quotes. From White, to Peter, to Kate, to Dwight, you will find humor galore - if you enjoyed the movie that is! Whether you are an Average Joe or a Cobra, there are some quotes for you. Enjoy our Dodgeball Quotes!

dodgeball movie quotes

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Buy this Framed Art Print at

Movie Rentals

White: We should mate.
Kate: What!?
White: Date - I said we should date sometimes - you know socially. Go out kickin'.
Kate: [Covers her mouth and chokes]
White: Are you ok?
Kate: I'm fine. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

White: Let's not find ourselves shackled by the bonds of employer/ employee relations. Unless of course you're into that sort of thing... in which case I have some shackles in the back. Just kidding. But, no, really, I have them.

Kate: Do you realize that you have not collected membership fees in 13 months? I'm curious, is it really apathy or do you not have a goal in life?
Peter: I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you do not have one you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell you, it feels phenomenal!

Patches: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

Patches: You have to know the 5 "D"s of dodgeball. Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge.

Patches: You're about as useful as a poopy flavored lolly pop.

Patches: Ok guys, you heard Billie Jean King. No crying in the breast milk.

Kate: Don't worry about that guy Justin. He's a total jerk!
Dwight: Yeah, he'll probably fall off the rollercoaster and break every bone in his body.
Kate: Nice, Dwight.
Dwight: Well I'm just saying! My cousin Ray-Ray - BOOP ... dead.

Patches: You ain't going to be able to hit 'em. Theye're too good and you suck something awful.
Gordon: Yes sir, I sure do.
Patches: The only shot is for you to get angry.
Gordon: Roger that.

Gordon: Guys, what are we going to do without Patches?
Dwight: We gonna get our teents handed to us, that's what!
Justin: What's a teent?
Gordon: I don't know - sounds bad.

White: So that's the deal. I give you $100,000 - you sign over the deed to your gym. End-o-story.
Peter: You really think you can come in here and buy me out White? You are a lot dumber than I thought.
White: Oh I don't think that I'm a lot dumber than you thought that I think that I thought was me.

Owen: C'mon guys. Well we got Peter.
Dwight: And they got guys named Lazer and Blazer and Tazer and all kinds of "azers".

Dwight: We're still missing the teenage love puppy and Steve the Pirate.
Owen: Who's Steve the Pirate?
Dwight: The only guy on our team that dresses like a pirate!
Owen: There's a guy on our team dressed like a pirate?

Lance: But good luck in the tournament. I'm really pulling for you against those jerks from Globo Gym. I think you better hurry up - you're going to be late.
Peter: Ah, actually I decided to quit Lance.
Lance: Quit? You know, once I was thinking about quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung, and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family I got back on the bike and I won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure that you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying from that's keeping you from the finals?

White: Cram it up your cram hole LeFleur. Prepare to be humiliated on cable television.

Cotton: LeFleur is putting on a blindfold.
Pepper: Yes, he won't be able to see very well here Cotton.

Cotton: Looks like it's gonna be a two on one - a menage a trois of pain.
Pepper: Usually you pay double for that kind of action Cotton.